Dear Kate Moss…

Dear Kate Moss,

Now don’t take this personally, but I wanted a quick word about your wedding photos (or at least the ones you shared in Vogue).

Kate, you look very pretty in them. You know that, of course. It’s your job, and you do it marvellously well. But surely we all know that we shouldn’t take work home with us?

Take the photo below. I can’t help but feel that you’re going to flick back to that one in five years’ time and feel a little bit silly. I mean, it’s lovely, but it’s a fashion shoot, isn’t it? Fashion shoots are your day job, Kate. Your life is something different.

You’re the ultimate arbiter of taste, but I think you’ve slipped up here. It’s just a little bit naff – not the fabulous dress or dreamy flowers, but the sheer level of posing, the for-the-camera eroticism. It reads as insincere.

Really, isn’t selling your wedding snaps a tiny bit Big Brother contestant? Granted, you chose Vogue over OK!, but it’s hard to imagine why. You’re not short of a few bob, Kate. And you’re not short of attention, either. Seeing your over-posed photos (Kate does radiant bride-to-be in the back of a car! Kate does sexy face! Kate does loving-if-rather-hot mummy!) made me feel a bit grubby.

But I suppose you’re no different to anyone else. You’re smart and stylish, but not enough so to reject the Princess for a Day myth. The big, ridiculous, expensive wedding is every woman’s birthright, as is showing it off. I expect that yours cost considerably more than the much-quoted average of eighteen grand. And, of course, there’s no question that you can afford it.

But the problem is, Kate, that you’ve made the same mistake as the women who can’t afford their weddings, who begin their married lives mired in debt and coming down from a massive egomaniacal high. And that is, you’ve mistaken the wedding for the marriage. You have assumed that, if the wedding is perfect, your marriage will be perfect too.

They are not one and the same. A wedding – and the legal status of ‘wife’ that it brings – means absolutely nothing. It is a contract easily broken. By all means gather your friends around you and celebrate, but know that a marriage – whatever it is that you want from it – will never be wall-to-wall glamour. It’s a life’s work. It’s a commitment to tackling the crappy bits as a team. And it’s a place to give and receive love, even when that’s knotty and difficult.

Marriage is the meeting of two imperfect minds and bodies, Kate – yes, even yours. Perhaps you know that already. But you will have to forgive me for assuming you don’t, because the photos suggest someone who believes that one immaculate day is all you need to pull off. If only it were that easy.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on the tastelessness of airbrushing the bridesmaids.

With love,

Betty x

 

To see the whole gallery in Vogue, click here.