Hitting the Spot

I may one day compile a chart of the most common responses I get when I tell people I’m a sex blogger.

Just underneath, ‘Oh….right….’ and, ‘You don’t look like a sex blogger’ (always hard to tell exactly what that means) there would be: ‘So you know how to find the G spot, then!’

Any one of these three responses allows me to launch into my slightly-embarrassed spiel about how I’m actually a completely incompetent sex blogger, and I’ve only ever had sex with four people, each of whom has met my mother.

But it’s true, I can find the G spot – it’s the wrinkly patch an inch or two into your vagina, on the top wall – although I’ll admit that I’m not all that convinced about its usefulness as an independent entity.

The G spot becomes prominent when the spongy tissue around your urethra becomes engorged with fluid.* This means you’ll need to be aroused by other methods before it really comes into its own – for example, by feeling mentally turned on or through clitoral stimulation. It’s also pretty hard to orgasm through G spot stimulation alone – although some women can do this.

Yes, the  G spot can produce some very nice sensations indeed – but given that it only properly reveals itself when a woman is aroused, that’s hardly surprising.

Now, I’m the first one to say that we need to shake the idea that the only object of sex is an orgasm, and G spot stimulation alone can produce some really wonderful, electric sensations (personally, it makes my feet tingle). But I’d argue that it’s part of the broader orchestra of arousal, something that adds a lovely bass note of pleasure to compliment the high notes of the clitoris and the luscious alto of the labia.

So by all means, learn to identify a G spot, and occasionally lavish it with some attention. It likes firm pressure, perhaps a circular massage or a ‘come hither’ beckoning motion (bear in mind that the fluid that’s filling that urethral sponge may seep or squirt out, leaving a bigger wet patch than normal).

But for heaven’s sake, let’s not pretend that anyone invented a new pleasure zone. It’s all part of the wonderful cocktail of female sexual sensation.

I sometimes think that a little knowledge of the female anatomy can be a dangerous thing – god save us from the ‘technique-y’ lover who merely prods at a series of sweet-spots.

* Incidentally, this is why many women feel like they desperately need to pee when their G spot is stimulated. You can combat this by making sure you know your bladder is empty, and then relaxing your PC muscles rather than tensing them. Counterintuitive, but it works.

Read my review of the DeLight G spot toy here